Things, Ten of them.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

In the last few days, I've shared more about my life and myself than I ever have. All of it on social media. I've realized that I tend to keep things to myself and never put myself out there enough. I do it plenty, but the bare minimum. Not cool. So, here are ten things about myself  that I may or may not have shared before.

1. I graduated high school in 2003 with dreams of being a teacher. Somewhere along the line, I decided to stop trying to get my bachelor's degree, and go to culinary school. I did extremely well in culinary school, but I should have finished my bachelor's. Hands down, worst decision I've ever made. Now that I have children, I want to be there. Be at their school functions or doctor's appointments and whatnot. With a chef's schedule (unless you're extremely lucky), is not one conducive to family life.  Most chef's work very late into the night and long hours. The work in a kitchen is never done. Luckily, very supportive family members of mine, convinced me to go back to school to finish my degree. It's a lot of work (A LOT) especially with two tiny ones. But once I get my teaching certificate and a job (yay!), it will be all worth it. I'm not saying being a teacher is easy by any means, but it's something that I WANT to work hard at. I want the hours and lifestyle. I want it. Bad. 

2. I almost went into photography. I got accepted into a school with a very, very good photography department a few years ago. I got accepted to that photography department specifically. While I don't regret not going, it is something I think about often. I wonder how things would have turned out if I would have gone through with it. Maybe one day, I can pick up my camera professionally. One can dream. 

3. I was in the marching band in high school. And I played the flute. I loved it. Really loved it. Not the marching part (hello stupid hats and people yelling at you), but the flute part. I loved playing music and reading it. I played for about 5-6 years. I went to camps and worked really hard. Then I broke my arm in high school and someone stole part of my flute (yes, part..jerks). I became so down. Around that time, I also had a very controlling boyfriend (that's another story for a later time...maybe). I quit. I quit it all. I don't regret that, but I wish I would have replaced the stolen part and kept playing for fun. 

4. In high school, I got asked to model. I took headshots and bought some new clothes (hello, excuse to shop). But I chickened out. 

5. I've had surgery on my knee once. I should have it again, but ouch. I'd be on crutches for at least 6 weeks. No, thank you. I have weirdly shaped cartilage under my kneecap and causes my knee to lock up. Talk about OUCH. It's pretty painful and crippling. I can't move at all without screaming. It happened in the pool when I was in high school and my brother had to pull me out by my hair. I wasn't allowed to swim alone after that. 

6. I was a dork in high school and beyond. I was bullied quite a bit in junior high and high school. I wasn't the type of girl that went out a lot and got drunk or in trouble. Not saying I never did those things, but it wasn't my first choice. By the end of my senior year, I had finally found the group I belonged with. They went to a different school so I only saw them after school somedays. Our "going-out" would either include a movie, donuts, walking around, going to watch bands play or sitting outside someone's house. It's sad that I'm not close to any of them anymore, but relationships change once other's end. Most of them were friends with my boyfriend at the time and when that ended, they went with him. Makes sense. But it's sad. 

7. I get pretty angry easily. This is a recent development that I'm trying to get through. I think it has a lot to do with anxiety. I've never experienced any of this before, so it's pretty scary. I'm not violent by any means, but I have to hold back yells a lot. (I'm not proud of this one). 

8. I don't make or keep friends easily. I'm not really a "let's chat on the phone for hours" type of person (unless you're my mom and I can talk to you forever). I have a hard time following up with people which is dumb. I shouldn't be like that. It's caused me to only have a handful of people I can go to at the moment. Kind of sad, actually. I've always dreamed of being one of those girls who can through a dinner party for her 10 girlfriends. Yah, not me. Boo. 

9. I hate being hot. HATE IT. When I was a kid and it was winter, my mom would be a normal human and turn on the heater in the car. I would roll down the window and stick my head out. I HATE IT. I'm not sure why I've stayed in Texas so long. I've give anything to move somewhere that has longer seasons and not just long summers. 

10. Everyone knows this, but my mom is my best friend. She's one of my favorite people on this earth. She is always, always there for me. She is my biggest supporter. My shopping buddy and the one I go to to rant about anything and everything. She questions me about things she should and lets me think through things on my own. She's the best mom and I hope to be like her one day. She is also the strongest woman I know. I don't know where I would be without her. Thanks, mama. 

So there's that! I hope you got to know me a little bit better. The hard times around here are mostly due to number 7 up there. I have very bad internal struggles over this all day long. Since talking about it with my doctor, I'm trying to work through it. Hopefully, things will get much better soon. I'm also looking for a full-time job (the restaurant was sadly part-time). It's time to go back to work! Mason is 9 months old and ready to spend sometime quality time with his grandparents who cannot wait! Here's to hoping things work out for me soon! 

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